Crypt of the Living Dead
Director: Ray Danton & Julio Salvador
Year: 1973
TRT: 1:13

Yikes. This film is brutal, in all the wrong ways. It's pure early 70s schlock, with bad dialogue, lame characters, and a story about as scary as a bowl of rancid oatmeal. Just walk away.

The son of an archeologist visits the island where his father recently died. It turns out that the tomb that was recently discovered houses a fabled vampire, and well, for lack of anything better to do, the son unseals the tomb. Of course all the locals are pretty pissed, but they're just superstitious old goats, right? To no one's surprise, there is in fact a vampire, Hannah, still sittin' pretty in her tomb and guess what? After 700 years, she's a bit parched. Already going downhill at this point, it just picks up more speed for a craptastic finale that left me, well, asleep.

I really did pass out watching this, it had so little of interest. But being the DMR trooper that I am, I sat down to re-watch the ending, just to make sure it really did suck. It really did suck. The only good thing this film has going for it was some cool locations. Otherwise, there is no redeeming value to this film.

Great Scene: Um. Uh. That one where... Well, there was one cool shot, with some guys standing around the entrance of a grave. It was framed well, at least. Lighting kinda sucked, though.

DVD Notes: Not only is the movie bad, the film used for the transfer is utter crap. I can't imagine why anyone would even want to commit this thing to DVD, it's so scratched and hacked. I've seen war footage from the front lines in better condition than some of the reels they used. Rhino Home Video was responsible for this piece of dreck winding up in my player, and I will be much more wary the next time I delve into their library of films. And don't even think about extras.