REVIEWED
4/9/07

STORY



LOOK



The Illusionist
Director: Neil Burger
Year: 2006
TRT: 1:50


So this flick's gotta lot of good things going for it. Great cast with Edward Norton, Paul Giamatti, Rufus Sewell nicely chosen as the Tilted One, Jessica Biel for something nice to look at. Directed by Neil Burger, who was a director I thought tended toward some more serious subject matter, but I was completely wrong (I was thinking of Neil Jordan, nevermind). Don't know whoever wrote/adapted this tripe, but they really should be shot. Hobbled. Perhaps just a good shit-kicking, just to let 'em know. If you're going to inflict a period piece on the general public, at least make it interesting, alright? Kinda makes sense they got this puppy out to the public before The Prestige, eh?

Young love between woodworking peasant and aristocratic offspring in BFE turn of the century Europe, doomed from the start. Fortunately the carpentristic commoner learns a couple of pretty neat tricks to endear himself to her before the final, inevitable split. Get this. They actually meet again several years down the road, and guess what? Situation hasn't changed A BIT! Imagine that. Actually, you don't have to, it's thrown all right up there on the screen there for you. Surprised the DVD didn't come with a little miniature spoon to eat carrot puree with just to make even more easier to swallow. I'm throwing carrot puree out there just because I have no idea what other kinds of baby foods are out there, and what would suitably ease digestion of a questionable material such as this film is.

The whole "bookend" to this story seems like it was
A. juggled by a one-armed cyclops
B. spelled out by George Dubya Bush
C. finger-painted by fecally-proficient monkeys
D. completely bungled considering the talent involved.
Take your pick. Sad to say, especially how good the picture actually looks. Oh yeah, the Vienna accents suck to the point of even I noticing it, and that's pretty bad. Who the hell can't talk like a hot dog?

Great Scene: Sorry to say the overall mediocrity of the plot made anything particularly good fail to stand out.

DVD Notes: Alright disc for what it is, left me none-too-eager to delve into the extras. Here's what they have: Feature commentary by writer/director Neil Burger, "Making of" doc, Jessica Biel on the film, trailers for independent films you'll probably never even hear of, with english and spanish subtitles.