Director: Rob Marshall
Year: 2002
TRT: 1:53

Reviewed: 6.29.05

Well, if you're gonna be subjected to a musical, this is infinitely more preferable than, well, any other musical I haven't seen. Style over substance? Sure. Toe-tappin tunes? Pretty much. Enjoyable and entertaining, pretty much whatever you expect out of this kind of fare. Nice juxtaposition between reality and fantasy.

What it is: Chick wants to be a star. Murders her lover. Goes to Prison. Redeemed by her big-shot woman-loving lawyer? Well, see it for yourself, cheap bastard.

Not quite sure why this got all the hubbub that it did. Apparently musicals in film is a dying artform. No shit? Thank to Python's "Spamalot" finally hitting Broadway, otherwise this genre truly is dead on stage. But then again, my town ain't exactly Broadway. And if it were, chances are pretty good I wouldn't be going to see this on the stage. Especially if Renee Zeeweeleger or whatoyafuckuspellit stars, because she is in the realms of Uma Thurman s c a r y with the wrong lighting. Seriously. Take a close look, it's a botulism experiment gone awry. Don't people notice these things? And Catherine Zeta Jones- should never have short hair. Ever. Wish the guy from The Wire didn't get knocked off so quick either. I should stop typing now. Richard Gere plays the lawyer. Stop. Latifah wears a blond wig. Stopping. For the last time. Someone gets shot. And it's supposed to be Chicago in, like, 1910 or something. With really colorful lighting and nice costumes. Kill me. Kill me now. it. just. won't. stop...... . . .

Great Scene: John C. Reilly singing "Cellophane Man" or whateverthefuck it is, just because it really is him singing (or is the most realistic portrayal, though Latifah puts in a good, if less memorable, song as well). The tapdancing courtroom scene is pretty good, too.

Media Notes: Point proven to not drink and mail. Kinda missed out on this one, sorry.


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