Do you want a healthy helping of bullets smothered in cheese? Than this is the iron-and-lead supplemented burrito for you! Shit, well maybe more of the Asian version of that, like some Wisconsin bullet sushi? Probably still not exact, but you get the drift. “In the land of 43-round handgun magazines, nobody dies.” Pretty sure that’s the tagline of the film. It’s in weird characters on the film poster, but pretty much sure that’s what it says.
We start off with Chow Yun-Fat. A church. And sooooo many candles. It’s like an 80s douche commercial up in heres. And one dove, of course. Maybe probably a stunt-pigeon. Hard to tell, these days. Followed by a little suspect karaoke, and it’s not looking good for long-term watchability. But then Pow Pow Pow Blood Blood Blood and shit’s redeemed itself just like that. This establishes a crazy cycle between an assassin with a heart of gold and, well, criminal hearts with a lot lead. Rinse and repeat. But at least they incorporate a high speed chase in Datsuns. Do they even make those cars anymore? Needless to say, wagon chases. With guns. And bullets. Soooo many bullets. And one retarded pigeon. 5 minutes into gunfire, and THEN you decide to fly from your hideyhole?!? Probably knew the slo-mo cameras were rolling. What a feathered diva bitch. May a statue crap on your head. Stupid bird.
To be honest, I like when random structures to hide behind are made up of 80% propane tanks. Always a good bet for personal safety. And while I may have a few issues with the music presented during this tale, the nicknames “Small B” and “Shrimphead” more than make up for that. I remember seeing this movie back in the day, not terribly long after it had been released on the VHSs I imagine, and realizing this has to be the movie with the most bullets ever fired in a film. Hell, outside of war movies, maybe it was, at the time. I’ve definitely seen more bullets since then but even upon revisiting? That’s a lot of bullets. Well done, Mr. Woo (no relation to Mr. ‘COCKSUCKAH!’ Wu, btw). Blind lounge singer aside, decent enough little action flick that dips its toes into the grey areas of morality between cops and criminals, with a little recurring theme about friendship. Wholesome, I’d say. And with a full dose of your daily recommended vitamins and minerals. (i’m not a doctor, so pissoff)
