When you pre-load the credits at the beginings of a flick, you know what that means. Is this movie an allegory or a metaphor? I think the previous but I’m a bit drunk at this point in the evening and I can’t be bothered to look. Well, morning now apparently. Damn you, time, and your damn filthy paws of timeatude! Good thing your jazzy intro music has helped salve those wounds. But that may just be the beer and shots talking.
We open with some astronauts in space, most in cryosleep but the supposed captain in the chair putting in his final log before his naptime. Nothing says 1968 Astronaut like smoking a cigar on the bridge before signing off. Oxygen don’t have no rule in spacetubes! The eventual awakenings show about 2000 years in the future because of science clocks always being tight, but unfortunately there’s an early casuality before getting to explore this strange new world. Desolate at first, but they find an oasis and of course the first thing you do after crash landing on an alien world is strip down to your birthday suit and take a swim. Fortunatly they did not crash on the Planet of the Invasive Worms. They come quickly to realize there is indeed life on the planet. Some are more hostile than others. The struggle to survive is enough to warrant like 18 sequels, 2 remakes (to date), and 2 television series between live action and animated.
For anyone who hasn’t watched this before, it’s a gutpunch of an ending. It’s probably only known now through memes at this point. But to have already seen it and know what’s to come, it’s still a pretty decent kick to the groin. Is Heston’s acting ability a match for his labido? You make the call. But it’s a decently enough done story that does bring up some certain 1968 A.D. points in our society that seem to be a lot more relevant again lately. Or is that prevalent? Weird how as time passes, it seems rather cyclical. Some people say it’s foolish to say time repeats because it’s not the exact same as the previous iteration. Well, no, it’s not exactly repeating, but it sure does seem to harmonize with the past. And the grooves on the record are getting closer together. Societal hierarchy as the metaphorical allegory of synonyms can’t be denied! Damnit, I'll stop typing now.
