This movie makes perfect sense. If you’re on acid. Maybe. I dunno. I was drinkin my way through it, heavily, to try and keep up. I failed. Almost understood the finale, but… Still quite a little romp, though. You got some blood. You got some Yakuza. You got some, well, I can’t really go on much further without mentioning the vampire thing. The basic summary of the film kinda spoils that right off the bat, but not really, it’s pretty apparent early on. Believe it or not, that helps ground the story and all the shenanigans going on. Of course, that kinda conflagerates the shit too. This movie is kinda awesome.
The story. A young yakuza (basically Japanese gangsta) workin for the local Boss. Likes his job, has purpose, respects his elder. The Boss runs a small town, and is actually pretty well liked and respected, as far as that grift is concerned. But then some Japanese Quaker-John dude rolls into town. And the chi airwaves are indicating the coming of something big. Something bad. Kageyama, the young yakuza, is a favorite of the Boss, and is there to witness the unfoldings of a broken seal or somesuch. Revelations kinda shit, not the blubbery honk-fest fish-snatcher kind. The Modern Monster is returneth, and guess where ground zero is? Aw, shit. Japanese movie. Probably shouldn’t use that particular phrase here. My bad. Sorry. All I know is, shit gets all loco, or whatever the Japanese word for loco is. Then everyone was kung-fu biting, and it’s a little bit frightenin.
While you might wonder what a kung-fu vampire yakuza apocalypse western might be like, this is your answer. A Conflicted soul in the pup Yakuza dude Kageyama. A kinda-Blind love interest chick seems like a tribute to Woo (that’s John Woo, not “Cocksucka” Wu [and thankfully, at least no stupid birds]). It looks great, some excellent fight scenes, and the Modern Monster is to die for. Literally, that bastard fucks up a lot of people. I’m keeping this spoiler free, as much as I hate to just because of the form it takes, but damn. It’s simultaneously horrifying and hilarious. Great subtle effects and some blatantly cheezy ones. Takashi Miike. Dude is prolific if nothing else, and expertly so. Can’t say I knew exactly what was going on with the Yakuza captain chick, though. Weird, kinda disgusting, Is it like an hourglass kinda thing? I’ll just say yes and gloss over all the other fucking strange stuff that happens here.
