Takin’ a ride to Alphaville. Strap in, it’s gonna get a little weird. Well, at least not normal. But what normal is, is kind of the baseline question here. And love. Because, French hippie shit or somesuch. Classy Futuristic French beatnik hippie shit, though. They apparently labeled this French New Wave tech noir. It does have some kinda-cookie-monster voice-audio thing going on, so it’s Proto Neu Metal, too!
Ivan Johnson is freshly arrived in Alphaville, checking into the hotel there booked for him by his, uhm, newspaper employer. He’s packin some smokes aaaaand maybe a little heat. That room turndown service is a helluva thing there, all the way in that galaxy’s capital where something seems a bit awry. While date and time and spacial coordinates are a bit unknown, we roll with it as we see Ivan scoff at bellboy hand-outs and immediately shoots room intruders. He not fuckin around. And, he seems to like shootin people. He’s...pretty shooty over the course of the film, kind of like a badass French Humphrey Bogart who don’t take no guff. And since it is french, there’s also some broads that are involved. That Natacha? She definitely earns the obligatory Ooh La La. This is all wrapped in an odd society that’s apparently run by logic and an A.I. that’s decisions are based on “the ultimate good,” whatever the fuck that is. A little suspect for a Future French computer that seems to have fascist leanings but pretends otherwise. Allegedly.
At least this doesn’t all take place in, like, a coffee house. Not even a “future” coffee house. Too poor to shoot in color because , french art beatnik hippie kinda stuff, but at least they try to make 1965 Paris look kinda stark futuristic just by shooting some of their building architectures at night. Capitalist vs Communist skimmings, past present future, what is love, Capital of Sorrow books and poetry, it all comes off as kinda Nouveau Gothy in some respects. French ambiguities and philosophies. “Save those who Weep” -FFS. However, perhaps the best new way to be executed that I’ve witnessed (besides The Meaning of Life one where you are chased off a cliff by a bunch of topless women), this one involves a pool, synchronized swimming and maybe some lead and clubs. If also done by topless hot chicks, my new 2nd top way to go. Well, that is, if I’m gonna go by the hand of a bunch of fkn commies. Kind of the post-cursor to some of that Orwell stuff and pre-cursor to the Taye Diggs filmatics known as Equilibrium. Not saying it’s a lot of French claptrap, it has its moments. You might want to grab a coffee first though. Or a bowl. Of cereal or sativa, where legal, of course.
