When The Arkham Post splashes the headline “Hooker Hacker” across their front page, you know you’ve arrived at exactly the correct Batman-Cthulhu mash-up you’ve always hoped for! Except maybe minus the Batman here. Because everyone knows Batman didn’t fight Lovecraft in a huge one-on-one battle because Batman is raystists. Obviously. Or they would have fought, right? Logics. Other than that, I’m pretty sure this isn’t a Troma film? It’s actually slightly better than that. Slightly-ish? Definitely better though in that there are no musical numbers. Well, at least no singing musical numbers. There is some music, though. Kinda.
The story is wrapped in a post-crime scene police interview backflash! The quality is amazing here in those quick glimpses of what exactly went down at the Church of Starry Wisdom and all those… victims. As it plays out In slow-ass movie-time? Slightly less impressive on the gore. And strippers. Uh, I mean actresses. Totally legit actresses. While this kinda comes off as an R-Rated version of an STD after-school special...for NEEEEEERRRRRRDS, it is quite a different tale of Apocalyptic Diseases of the Pants! Artist MickMo Cautioned us all. We just...fail to hear his warnings. Stupid Diseases of the Ears! Overall, it’s just kinda fun, kinda stupid, kinda perverted take on what H.P. Lovecraft actually did to save us all. Allegedly.
I can’t say this is the worst Lovecraft-inspired movie I’ve ever seen. It’s amazing what digital cameras could do in 2014 for at least decent shots. Acting, script and effects are a different story, but at least it’s done competently from that one aspect. And they cheat the DMR Lovecraft Ratings System once again here by ending it with someone getting purse-looped into an insane asylum. As it should be.
