MOVIE	DIRECTOR	Story	Look
12 Monkeys	Terry Gilliam	4 ½	5
28 Days Later	Danny Boyle	5	5
The 7th Voyage of Sinbad	Nathan Juran	1	3 ½
A
About Schmidt	Alexander Payne	4	4 ½
Adaptation	Spike Jonze	5	5
The Adjustment Bureau	George Nolfi	3 ½	4 ½
The Adventures of Baron Munchausen	Terry Gilliam	4 ½	5
The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai	W.D. Richter	3 ½	3 ½
AKIRA	Katsuhiro Otomo	4 ½	6
Alice	Jan Svankmajer	4	4
Alien	Ridley Scott	4 ½	6
Aliens	James Cameron	4 ½	6
Alien3	David Fincher	1	4
Alien Resurrection	Jean-Pierre Jeunet	4	4
Alien Prometheus	Ridley Scott	4 ½	6
Alien Covenant	Ridley Scott	3 ½	6
Altered States	Ken Russell	4 ½	4 ½
Amelie	Jean-Pierre Jeunet	4 ½	6
American Psycho	Mary Harron	3 ½	4 ½
An American Werewolf in London	John Landis	5	5
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy	Adam McKay	4 ½	4
Angel Heart	Alan Parker	3 ½	4 ½
Animal House	John Landis	6	6
Animatrix	various	1 ½	4
Annihilation	Alex Garland	3 ½	4 ½
Apocalypse Now	Francis Ford Coppola	6	6
Army of Darkness	Sam Raimi	3 ½	3 ½
Arrival	Dennis Villeneuve	1 ½	4
Atomic Blonde	David Leitch	2	4
Audition	Takashi Miike	4	5
B			top
Bad Boys (1983)	Rick Rosenthal	4 ½	4 ½
Bad Taste	Peter Jackson	2	2
The Bakerton Group	The Guys from Clutch	11	11
Barton Fink	Joel Coen	3	5
Basket Case	Frank Henenlotter	3	3
Batman	Tim Burton	4 ½	4 ½
Beau is Afraid	Ari Aster	3 ½	5 ½
Behind the Drunken Movie Reviews	The Drunken Movie Reviewer	6	6
A Better Tomorrow	John Woo	3 ½	4
Beyond Re-Animator	Brian Yuzna	3	3 ½
Beyond the Black Rainbow	Panos Cosmatos	2 ½	4 ½
The Big Lebowski	Joel Coen	5	6
Big Trouble	Barry Sonnenfeld	3 ½	4
Big Trouble in Little China	John Carpenter	4	4
The Bird With the Crystal Plummage	Dario Argento	3	3 ½
Black Hawk Down	Ridley Scott	4	6
Blade Runner	Ridley Scott	6	6
Blazing Saddles	Mel Brooks	5	4 ½
Blood Simple	Joel & Ethan Coen	3 ½	4
Blow Out	Brian De Palma	3 ½	4
Blue Thunder	John Badham	4 ½	4 ½
Blue Velvet	David Lynch	4 ½	4
The Bourne Identity	Doug Liman	3 ½	4
Brain Dead	Adam Simon	3 ½	3 ½
Brazil	Terry Gilliam	5 ½	5 ½
Brick	Rian Johnson	4 ½	5
Bride of Re-Animator	Brian Yuzna	2	2 ½
The Bridge on the River Kwai	David Lean	5	6
Brotherhood of the Wolf	Cristophe Gans	4½/4	6/5½
Bubba Ho-Tep	Don Coscarelli	5	4
Burke & Hare	John Landis	5	5
C			top
The Cabin in the Woods	Drew Goddard	4 ½	4 ½
Cannibal! The Musical	Trey Parker	3 ½	3 ½
Casablanca	Michael Curtiz	4 ½	4
Cat 'O' Nine Tails	Dario Argento	3	4 ½
Catch Me If You Can	Steven Spielberg	5	5 ½
Chicago	Rob Marshall	2 ½	4 ½
Chicken Run	Peter Lord & Nick Park	4 ½	5 ½
Un Chien Andalou	Luis Buñuel	?	4
Chinatown	Roman Polanski	5	5 ½
City of Lost Children, The	Jean-Pierre Jeunet	6	6
Clash of the Titans (1981)	Desmond Davis	4 ½	5
Clerks	Kevin Smith	5	3
A Clockwork Orange	Stanley Kubrick	5 ½	6
Cocaine Bear	Elizabeth Banks	3 ½	4
Code 46	Michael Winterbottom	3 ½	5
The Collected Shorts of Jan Svankmajer: Volume One	Jan Svankmajer	3 ½	5
The Collected Shorts of Jan Svankmajer: Volume Two	Jan Svankmajer	4	5
The Conversation	Francis Ford Coppola	5	4 ½
Cowboys & Aliens	John Favreau	3 ½	4 ½
La Cravate	Alejandro Jodorowsky	1	2
Creature From the Black Lagoon	Jack Arnold	2 ½	3 ½
Cronos	Guillermo del Toro	3 ½	4 ½
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon	Ang Lee	6	6
D			top
Dagon	Stuart Gordon	4 ½	4 ½
Darkness Falls	Jonathon Liebesman	3 ½	4
Dawn of the Dead (1978)	George Romero	4	3 ½
Dawn of the Dead (2004)	Zack Snyder	3	4 ½
Day of the Dead	George Romero	2	3 ½
Dazed and Confused	Richard Linklater	5	5
Dead Alive	Peter Jackson	4 ½	4 ½
Dead & Breakfast	Matthew Leutwyler	3	3
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid	Carl Reiner	3 ½	3
Dead Snow	Tommy Wirkola	2 ½	4
Delicatessen	Jean-Pierre Jeunet & Marc Caro	5	6
Demonlover	Olivier Assayas	1	2 ½
The Descent	Neil Marshall	4	5
Desperado	Robert Rodriguez	4	5
Diary of the Dead	George A. Romero	1	2 ½
Die Hard	John McTiernan	6	6
Dirty Duck	Charles Swenson	1	2
Dirty Harry	Don Siegel	4 ½	3 ½
Dr. Strangelove	Stanley Kubrick	5 ½	5
Dogma	Kevin Smith	4 ½	4 ½
Dog Soldiers	Neil Marshall	4 ½	4 ½
Donnie Darko	Richard Kelly	6	6
Don't Torture a Duckling	Lucio Fulci	3 ½	4 ½
Doomsday	Neil Marshall	2	4 ½
Dredd	Pete Travis	1 ½	3 ½
The Driller Killer	Abel Ferrara	3	3 ½
Drugstore Cowboy	Gus Van Sant	5	5
Drunken Master	Yuen Woo-ping	3 ½	4
Dune (2021)	Denis Villeneuve	4	6
E			top
The Endless	Justin Benson & Aaron Moorehead	4 ½	5
Enemy of the State	Tony Scott	3 ½	4 ½
Enter the Dragon	Robert Clouse	3 ½	4 ½
Eraserhead	David Lynch	1 ½	4 ½
Escanaba in da Moonlight	Jeff Daniels	2	2
Escape From New York	John Carpenter	4	4
Even Dwarfs Started Small	Werner Herzog	?	4
Evil Dead 2	Sam Raimi	6	6
eXistenZ	David Cronenberg	3 ½	4
The Exorcist	William Friedkin	4	5
The Experiment	Oliver Hirschbiegel	4	4 ½
F			top
Face/Off	John Woo	1	4
The Fall Guy	David Leitch	4	6
Fallen	Gregory Hoblit	3 ½	3 ½
Falling Down	Joel Schumacher	4	5
Fando y Lis	Alejandro Jodorowsky	3	3 ½
Fantastic Mr. Fox	Wes Anderson	4	5 ½
Fargo	Joel Coen	6	6
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas	Terry Gilliam	5 ½	6
The Fearless Vampire Killers	Roman Polanski	4	4
La Femme Nakita	Luc Besson	5	6
The Fifth Element	Luc Besson	3 ½	4 ½
Fight Club	David Fincher	5 ½	6
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within	Some Japanese Guys	3 ½	5 ½
The Fisher King	Terry Gilliam	5 ½	5 ½
Fitzcarraldo	Werner Herzog	3 ½	4
Five Deadly Venoms	Chang Cheh	3 ½	4
Frankenstein	James Whale	2 ½	2 ½
Frantic	Roman Polanski	4 ½	4
The French Connection	William Friedkin	4	4
The Frighteners	Peter Jackson	4 ½	4 ½
From Beyond	Stuart Gordon	4	4 ½
From Dusk Til Dawn	Robert Rodriguez	5 ½	5 ½
Fury	David Ayer	4	4 ½
G			top
The Game	David Fincher	4	4 ½
Garden State	Zach Braff	4	4
Get the Gringo	Adrian Grunberg	3 ½	4
Ghost Ship	Steve Beck	1 ½	4
Ghostbusters	Ivan Reitman	5 ½	4 ½
The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo	Niels Arden Oplev	4	5
The Good, the Bad, the Weird	Kim Jee-woon	3 ½	5
Gozu	Takashi Miike	3 ½	3 ½
H			top
Halloween (1978)	John Carpenter	3 ½	3
Hamburger Hill	John Irvin	4	4
Happy, Texas	Mark Illsey	2 ½	2 ½
The Happytime Murders	Brian Henson	3 ½	4
Hard Bastard	Godfrey Ho	2 ½	2 ½
Hard Boiled	John Woo	4 ½	5
Hellboy	Guillermo Del Toro	4	5
Hereditary	Ari Aster	4 ½	5 ½
Hi, Mom!	Brian De Palma	1 ½	2 ½
High Noon	Fred Zinnemann	4 ½	5
Highlander	Russell Mulcahy	4	5
History of the World, Part I	Mel Brooks	3 ½	3
Hitch-Hike	Pasquale Festa Campanile	4	4
Hollywood Knights	Floyd Mutrux	3 ½	2 ½
The Holy Mountain	Alejandro Jodorowsky	4	6
Hot Fuzz	Edgar Wright	5	5
House	Nobuhiko Obayashi	2	3 ½
House By the Cemetery	Lucio Fulci	4	6
How to Get Ahead in Advertising	Bruce Robinson	3	4 ½
Hudsucker Proxy	Joel Coen	4	5 ½
Humanoids From the Deep	Barbara Peeters	2 ½	2 ½
I			top
I, Robot	Alex Proyas	4	4 ½
Idiocracy	Mike Judge	7	4
If Chins Could Kill	Bruce Campbell	*	*
The Illusionist	Neil Burger	2 ½	4
In the Mouth of Madness	John Carpenter	5	4 ½
Inception	Christopher Nolan	5	6
Insomnia	Christopher Nolan	2 ½	4
Ichi the Killer	Takashi Miike	3 ½	5
J			top
Jacob's Ladder	Adrian Lynn	5	5 ½
Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back	Kevin Smith	4	4 ½
The Jerk	Carl Reiner	3 ½	3
John Dies at the End	Don Coscarelli	5	4 ½
John Wick	Chad Stahelski	4	6
Johnny Dangerously	Amy Heckerling	3 ½	4
Junk Head	Takehide Hori	6	6
K			top
The Kentucky Fried Movie	John Landis	3 ½	3
The Killer	John Woo	3 ½	4 ½
King of New York	Abel Ferrara	4	5
King Kong (1933)	Merian C. Cooper	4	4 ½
King of the Ants	Stuart Gordon	3 ½	4
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang	Shane Black	5	5
Kong: Skull Island	Jordan Vogt-Roberts	3 ½	5
Kung Fu Hustle	Stephen Chow	4 ½	5
L			top
The Lair of the White Worm	Ken Russell	2 ½	2 ½
Land of the Dead	George A. Romero	4 ½	4 ½
Last House on the Left	Wes Craven	3 ½	2 ½
The Last Man On Earth	Ubaldo Ragona, Sidney Salkow	2	2 ½
Last Tango in Paris	Bernardo Bertolucci	3 ½	4
The Last Temptation of Christ	Martin Scorsese	4 ½	5 ½
The Legend of Drunken Master	Lau Kar-leung	3 ½	4
Let the Right One In	Tomas Alfredson	5	4
The Lighthouse	Robert Eggers	4	5
Like Water For Chocolate	Alfonso Arau	3	3
Little Nicky	Steven Brill	1 ½	1 ½
Little Otik	Jan Svankmajer	3 ½	4
The Lives of Others	Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck	6	6
The Living Dead at Manchester Morgue	Jorge Grau	3 ½	4 ½
A Lizard in a Woman's Skin	Lucio Fulci	2 ½	4
Longlegs	Osgood Perkins	4	4 ½
Lord of Illusions	Clive Barker	2 ½	4
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring	Peter Jackson	5 ½	6
Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels	Guy Ritchie	6	5
Lost In La Mancha	Keith Fulton & Louis Pepe	4	3 ½
Lucky	Steve Cuden	4	2 ½
Lunacy	Jan Svankmajer	3 ½	4 ½
M			top
Mad Max	George Miller	2 ½	3 ½
Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome	George Miller & George Ogilvie	3 ½	4
Magic	Richard Attenborough	3	3 ½
The Magic Christian	Joseph McGrath	3 ½	2 ½
Mallrats	Kevin Smith	3 ½	3
The Maltese Falcon (1941)	John Huston	4	3 ½
Mandy	Panos Cosmatos	2	4
El Mariachi	Robert Rodriguez	4	2 ½
Marihuana	Dwain Esper	1	1
Mars Attacks!	Tim Burton	3	5
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World	Peter Weir	3 ½	5
The Matrix	The Wachowski Brothers	5 ½	6
The Matrix Reloaded	The Wachowski Brothers	4	5 ½
The Matrix Revolutions	The Wachowskis	4	5
May	Lucky McGee	3	5
Meet the Feebles	Peter Jackson	3/3	2½/3½
Memento	Christopher Nolan	4	4
Menno's Mind	Jon Kroll	1	2
Metropolis (1926)	Fritz Lang	2 ½	2 ½
Midsommar	Ari Aster	4 ½	5 ½
Miller's Crossing	Joel & Ethan Coen	3 ½	4 ½
Monty Python and the Holy Grail	Terry Gilliam & Terry Jones	6	6
Moon	Duncan Jones	5	5
Ms .45	Abel Ferrara	2 ½	3 ½
N			top
Natural Born Killers	Oliver Stone	3 ½	4
Near Dark	Kathryn Bigelow	3 ½	4 ½
The Nice Guys	Shane Black	5	6
Night of the Creeps	Fred Dekker	3 ½	4
Night of the Living Dead	George Romero	4	3
Night Watch	Timur Bekmambetov	4	4 ½
The Nightmare Before Christmas (v2003)	Henry Selick	5 ½	6
The Nightmare Before Christmas (v2024)	Henry Selick	4	5 ½
A Nightmare on Elm Street	Wes Craven	4 ½	4 ½
No Country for Old Men	Joel & Ethan Coen	6	6
O			top
O Brother, Where Art Thou?	Joel Coen	5 ½	6
Office Space	Mike Judge	5	3 ½
Oldboy	Park Chanwook	4 ½	6
On The Waterfront	Elia Kazan	5 ½	4 ½
One Hour Photo	Mark Romanek	5 ½	5 ½
One Crazy Summer	Savage Steve Holland	2	3
P			top
Panic Room	David Fincher	4 ½	5 ½
Paycheck	John Woo	3 ½	4
Phantasm	Don Coscarelli	3 ½	3 ½
Phantasm II	Don Coscarelli	3	4
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead	Don Coscarelli	2 ½	3 ½
Phantasm IV: Oblivion	Don Coscarelli	3 ½	4
Phantasm V: Ravager	David Hartman	3 ½	3 ½
π (Pi)	Darren Aronofsky	5	4
Pig	Michael Sarnoski	5	5
Planet of the Apes	Franklin J. Schaffner	3 ½	3 ½
Platoon	Oliver Stone	5	5
The Pope of Greewich Village	Stuart Rosenberg	3 ½	4
The Prestige	Christopher Nolan	3 ½	4 ½
The Prophecy	Gregory Widen	3 ½	4 ½
Q			top
R			top
Rabid	David Cronenberg	3 ½	3 ½
Raising Arizona	The Coen Brothers	6	6
Ravenous	Antonia Bird	4 ½	5 ½
Raw Meat	Gary Sherman	2	3
Re-Animator	Stuart Gordon	4	4
Rear Window	Alfred Hitchcock	2	3 ½
Repo Man	Alex Cox	4 ½	4 ½
Reservoir Dogs	Quentin Tarantino	6	6
Resident Evil	Paul W.S. Anderson	3 ½	4
The Ring	Gore Verbinski	4	6
River's Edge	Tim Hunter	4 ½	4
Road To Perdition	Sam Mendes	3 ½	5
The Road Warrior	George Miller	4	5 ½
Robocop	Paul Verhoeven	5	4 ½
Rosemary's Baby	Roman Polanski	4	4 ½
Run Lola Run	Tom Tykwer	4	4
S			top
Safe Men	John Hamburg	5 ½	4 ½
Salem's Lot	Tobe Hooper	3 ½	4
Saving Private Ryan	Steven Spielberg	6	6
A Scanner Darkly	Richard Linklater	4 ½	5
Scanners	David Cronenberg	3 ½	3
Scotland, PA	Billy Morrissette	4	4
SE7EN	David Fincher	6	6
Sharknado	Anthony C. Ferrante	1or5	1 ½
The Shining	Stanley Kubrick	5	6
The Slammin' Salmon	Kevin Heffernan	4 ½	4 ½
Snakes on a Plane	David R. Ellis	3 ½	4
Snowden	Oliver Stone	5	5
Snowpiercer	Bong Joon-ho	3 ½	4
Society	Brian Yuzna	3 ½	4
Sorcerer	William Friedkin	4 ½	4 ½
Southland Tales	Richard Kelly	3 ½	4 ½
Spawn	Mark A.Z. Dippé	3	4 ½
Spider	David Cronenberg	4 ½	5 ½
Spring	Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead	3 ½	4 ½
Spring Breakers	Harmony Korine	3 ½	4 ½
Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones	George Lucas	3	4 ½
Strange Brew	Rick Moranis & Dave Thomas	6	6
Strangers on a Train	Alfred Hitchcock	3 ½	4
A Streetcar Named Desire	Elia Kazan	4	4
Super Mario Bros.	4 Different People(!)	1	1
Super Troopers	Jay Chandrasekhar	4	4
Super Troopers 2	Jay Chandrasekhar	4 ½	4 ½
Support Your Local Sheriff!	Burt Kennedy	3 ½	3
Survival of the Dead	George A. Romero	2 ½	3
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance	Park Chan-wook	3 ½	4
T			top
Terribly Happy	Henrik Ruben Genz	4 ½	5
They Live	John Carpenter	3 ½	4
The Thing (1982)	John Carpenter	6	6
The Thing From Another World!	James Whale	2	2
Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead	Gary Fleder	2 ½	3
Three Kings	David O. Russell	5	5 ½
THX 1138: Director's Cut	George Lucas	3	4 ½
Time Bandits	Terry Gilliam	4 ½	5 ½
To Live and Die in LA	William Friedkin	4	4 ½
Tomb Raider	Simon West	1 ½	3
El Topo	Alejandro Jodorowsky	3 ½	5
Total Recall	Paul Verhoeven	5	5
A Town Called Panic	Stephane Aubier & Vincent Patar	4	4
Tron	Steven Lisberger	4	5
True Romance	Tony Scott	5	5
The Two Jakes	Jack Nicholson	2 ½	3 ½
Two-Lane Blacktop	Monte Hellman	3	2 ½
U			top
Unbreakable	M. Night Shyamalan	5 ½	6
Uzumaki (aka Spiral)	Akiro Higuchi	2 ½	4 ½
V			top
V for Vendetta	James McTeigue	4 ½	5 ½
Versus	Ryuhei Kitamura	2 ½	4
A Very Long Engagement	Jean-Pierre Jeunet	4 ½	6
Videodrome	David Cronenberg	4 ½	4
Viking	Andrei Kravchuk	1 ½	4
The Void	Steven Kostanski & Jeremy Gillespie	5	5
W			top
Wall Street	Oliver Stone	4 ½	4
Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit	Nick Park & Steve Box	5	6
Wallace & Gromit: The Incredible Adventures of	Nick Park	6	6
Willy's Wonderland	Kevin Lewis	1 ½	3 ½
What We Do in the Shadows	Jemaine Clement, Taika Waititi	5	5
The Wild Bunch	Sam Peckinpah	4	4 ½
The Wild One	Laszlo Benedek	4	3 ½
Winter's Bone	Debra Granik	5	5
The Wizard of Gore	Herschell Gordon Lewis	2	2
Wizards	Ralph Bakshi	2	3 ½
The Wages of Fear	Henri-Georges Clouzot	3 ½	4
Where the Buffalo Roam	Art Linson	3 ½	3 ½
The Wolf of Wall Street	Martin Scorcese	5	6
The World's End	Edgar Wright	2 ½	4
X			top
X-Men	Bryan Singer	5	5 ½
Y			top
Yakuza Apocalypse	Takashi Miike	3 ½	4 ½
Young Frankenstein	Mel Brooks	6	6
Z			top
Zombi Holocaust	Marino Girolami	1	2
Zombie	Lucio Fulci	3 ½	4 ½

Shitheap

Ah, yes, the movies that just plain suck, for whatever reason. Movies here deserve the title of one giant whiffy pile of crap. View with extreme caution...

MOVIE	DIRECTOR	Story	Look
Carnival of Souls (1998)	Adam Grossman	0	2
Cats	Satan	0	0
Crypt of the Living Dead	Ray Danton & Julio Salvador	0	1
The Day After Tomorrow	Roland Emmerich	0	3 ½
Jupiter Ascending	The Wachowskis	0	1 ½
Men In Black II	Barry Sonnenfeld	0	2 ½
Rabbits	David Lynch	0	0
Sleeper	Woody Allen	0	0
Trick ‘r Treat	Michael Dougherty	0	4
The Whole Nine Yards	Jonathan Lynn	0	1
Zoolander	Ben Stiller	0	3