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Five Deadly Venoms aka The Five Venoms
Director: Chang Cheh
Year: 1978
TRT: 1:38

Reviewed: 5/13/2024
VIDEO REVIEW

This is a Quest movie. A Dying Master has his last wishes for his final young apprentice to fulfill. A bit odd that the elder trained all of his previous Chinese (presumably) students while they only wore Chupa Cabra masks...Lupra Cabre? Lucha libre masks! I didn’t know Mexican Wrastlin was even a thing back there in the Chinese-towns. But there they were. Like a 5-member Asian-Mexican version of the band KISS. And as everyone knows, KISS is just...the worst. These guys? They are admittedly pretty kick ass.

Scorpion. Centipede. Snake. Lizard. Armadillo. They all can kill with their deadly poisons. That armadillo fucker can turn you into a zombie, apparently. Or is it toad? I forget. Lick one, don’t lick the other. Consequences can be fatal. Samurai Sleuthing follows in order to identify each of the skilled Poison Clan who are anonymous in their new lives. A lot of snooping ensues, punctuated by key fight sequences throughout.

While there is a lighter touch to a few moments in the film, it’s overall a relatively serious tone with some of the shit being downright sadistic. Pure torture implements are brought out at some point or other. And not by, like, the local mafia. The Court says go in the Iron Maiden? Fucker’s goin in the Iron Maiden. And not even like the good pre-Dickinson Maiden, but the lame pricky one. Totally not cool. But decent production overall from the competent Shaw Brothers Studio, good sets and overall staging. The fight choreography is capable enough, definitely more story heavy but the premise makes it decent enough to enjoy between the kung-fu action. Popcorn was enjoyed while the inevitable Final Fight was set up and played out. Can’t ask for much more from a Quest tale with a bit of detectivins goin on. Gives me an idea for my next DMR theme...


Horrible Scene: Waterboarded by origami. Damn. What a suck way to go.

Ominous Quote: “Get the punishment tools ready” – Judge in the court. Fuck that noise.


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