If nothing else, at least this one’s got a full cast to support The Cagester. Still kind of a rough watch though. Nice cars are one thing. Stealin SUVs from Suburbia? Lame.
Opens to a car heist gone to shit. Ex car thief Big Brother called in to help sort it out or, you know, lil bro gets the smashers in a car crusher or something. Steal 50 cars in 3 days, all’s even. So nefarious. You think they’ll do it? Or will only 49 cars gets got, and, well, Smashers for you! The foreshadowing here is fuckin brutal. Slap on the seatbelt, you are in for the mediocre ride of your life!
This is about as formulaic as you can get for Hollyword stories. Slick as snot visually, and yeah, some cool cars here and there. A remake from the 1974 version of the film, which I haven’t seen and probably won’t, because it does not star Nicolas Fkn Cage, who is obviously in a slump here. Angelina Jolie lookin pretty rough, especially with the blonde pseudo-dreads. Giovanni Ribisi is a koont. Sheriff Bullock as a cop is ok, I guess. But there is a certain genius in giving Vinnie Jones no lines. Kinda. Such cheese, in full Jerry Bruckheimer style.
I kinda remember not liking this movie however long ago I watched it. Good thing for a lot of beers beforehand, or I probably would have turned it off and read some beat poetry to piss me off a little less. Hooray for beer! Sorry, Nic. This is why people don’t respect you as much as they should. Because you filmed the shame. Well, they can’t all be zingers.
